Top Ten Errors of Well-Intentioned Parents

1.   Choose to respond and give your attention to your children primarily when they are fighting, acting rude, out of control, non-compliant, argumentative, etc.

2.   Use punishment to manage your children’s behavior.  Take things away to motivate them; threaten them with less…

3.   Assert your control & authority as a parent to resolve conflict; engage in every power struggle that occurs: you’re the Boss!

4.   Be inconsistent when setting limits, using rewards, or even punishment. Depend on your mood, astrology or feelings of benevolence to determine what you do: keep them guessing!

5.   Don’t Walk the Talk: Refuse to accept the fact that you are a Role Model!

6.   Criticize, critique, make assumptions, assign negative motives and mislabel efforts for anything you don’t like or can’t accept about your child. “What’s wrong with you?”

7.   Mislabel your child’s behavior, actions or intentions. Say words that demean, insult, lower self-esteem, predict failure or imply ulterior motives. Regularly predict negative outcomes or consequences. Dare to be pessimistic…promise failure as a result of their behavior.

8.   Fail to establish clear, appropriate Parent-Child boundaries re: Parent-Child roles, limits or responsibilities.

          Revel in being “so open minded that your brains are falling out!”

9.   Don’t listen, talk; Don’t communicate or collaborate, dictate…  all in all, model “you can’t tell mewhat to do!”

10.   Escalate every disagreement or conflict into a crisis so that you are sure of creating a “lose-lose” situation.